Ah, welcome lame and weary traveller! It must have taken you quite a while to reach here; snow and wind and the absolutely lame condition of being you are all harsh mistresses. Please! Take a seat! Gather round the fire and I shall tell you all I know.
The internet is a harsh and unforgiven environment. Like the dark, deep waters of the ocean, it can suck in and envelop unweary forumnites, never to see the light of day or feel the breeze on cheeks again. And you dear traveller, are all too in risk of sharing such a fate, for reasons that you are you, and not I. But fear not friend! You need not be you any longer! For I shall teach you how to be better then you! I shall teach you how to be Awesome! I shall teach you how to be Me.
Step 1:The first step to being awesome is to build a reputation. How is this done? By being known for something positive and admirible among the community. For instance, Ryugen, Lunaset, iJustin and others are known for their sig making, whereas Toxxy, Selene and their ilk are known for been funny bastards.
However, since you are you, you are likely to be rather lame and boring, and have no real talents or personality that can stand out amongst the vast sea that is the internet. So what is poor boring old you to do? The answer is quite simple! Have a large post count! Forumnites are a lazy and forgetful lot. So they have a hard time learning and remembering facts about people.
Therefore, they are always looking for simple ways to quantify the reputation of another poster -a stat like in a RPG- if you will. A large post count is your stat. With this, your word suddenly becomes far more powerful and influential, even if your opinion is utterly stupid.
So how do you gain a large post count? Simply post a lot! But don't spam, because that's easy to catch. Instead, post short sentences, with often the thinnist connection to the actual thread. That way, you avoid spamming, but you don't have to think to hard on what you're typing either!
Step 2:Now you have a reputation, its time to flaunt it! Go round the forums and post your opinion! Regardless of how poorly thought out or unnecessary it may be! Start threads that have little to do with the board they are posted in! Go to the threads of unsuspecting newbs and change the subject against their will! Tell newbies who have swapped that they don't deserve to live! Ignoring the fact that you also swapped back when you were new! Do whatever, as long as it isn't in blatant violation of the rules! The world is your oyster baby!
Step 3:The most important step. This is what seperates the kinda awesome from the Snarks. Be completely and utterly obsessed about your own importance.
Proclaim to the world that you are better then the second coming of Jesus! Jesus was the second coming of You!
This might sound easy, but is in fact the most difficult step of all. Poorly executed step 3s will be called out, and soon you will become known as an egomaniac, and all you had done to build your reputation will crumble and you will once again be entranched in the bowels of Lame. In order to avoid such a fate, you must play your cards carefully, and I will teach you how!
And the answer is quite simple actually! Simply take refuge in absurdity! There is a level of arrogance that is so over the top, so beyond comprehension, that it transcends mere arrogance and becomes acceptable. Your task is to reach that level. Do not be content with saying you are as good a storyteller as Shakespeare. Say that you could pen a piece that would make Shakespeare's work seem like a day time soap long past its use by date, while kicking Ayn Rand and J.D Salinger's asses in a bar fight!
You see, by constantly reaching that level, you can brag about your own awesomeness all you want, yet people won't just accept what you say, they'll laugh and agree that you are that awesome!
Step 4:So you have cleared the last hurdle, and have ascended to the rank of the Demi-Snarks. Where to go from here? There is but one option; transcend the forum itself. You are too awesome for the forum to contain with its silly rules. So how do you openly defy them? It's actually a rather simple process.
First, you must have a thorough understanding of the rules, and be a tireless enforcer on the rules upon others. Build this reputation, as a stout watcher and guardian of the forums.
Once this reputation is reached, you are ready to begin phase two. Feel free to begin breaking the very rules you enforce, but call yourself out on it. Obviously you must do this in a humouress manner, however I shall leave the finer details on how to do that up to you. Nonetheless, the important thing is that you be self aware of the fact you're breaking the rules.
That way, people can't call you out for it, and your post also has comedic appeal. Despite all this, the fact remains that you've still broken a rule, it's just that no one is going to get angry at you for it! And with this masterstroke, you have accomplished what you have dreamed of for so long! You have transcended the forum itself. You are now awesome.
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And thus that brings an end to my guide. I hope that with it, you too may shed the skin of your lame self, and become Awesome. The time of your lameness is at an end my friend.
Be Awesome. Be Snark. Be Me.
Tidewater Springs here, ready to give some loving with Dwayna's Kiss
^ Ocean™ ^ Maid Guitars, 'nuff said.
Please use substantiable support when agree/disagreeing. ^^;
thx 2 snark im goin 2 b poplar.
thx snark
Visit my Grand Chase Blog!
Fix that post, quickly!!!*Hides behind semi-protection bush against explosion*
This guide seems a litte....... "<_<" in my opinion. I don wanna become famous on no forums no more. D:
And with this post, I now have a postcount of 2.
I'm on fire :D?
The last thing I would want to be is a conceited fancy face like you. :l I don't need to be a Snark to be happy, and no one else does either.
And I'm going to add onto this actually.
I can't tell if you're really just as self-centered as you seem. Or is this just...a joke? A little thing to have laughs? Are you a "funny ***", I think the term was used. I really hope you're serious, so I can hate you since you're so conceited. But, if you aren't, aren't you spamming Snark? :D
-Reads very carefully and follows instructions- -starts step one- Yay I did part of step 1 xD Post count increased by: 1
Newest~ GIMP FTW
Snark, I can't help but feel that you've stolen this from RyanGormel's forum life history... and future forum-domination plans, plus extra wit.